One thing I’ve learned this past year since my separation is the need to keep myself going. If I haven’t had the support from my family and friends I probably would have gone insane by now.
When going through hard times, keep yourself busy.
In lots of ways this has been a time of reflection on myself. How can I become a better person? So instead of spending my days in bed, I walked and progressed into running, also challenging myself to the Grouse Grind as many times as I can this season, which has built up my self confidence because I’ve lost weight. I got myself a part-time job, started making new friends. I went to consumer shows on the weekends when I wasn’t working, like the Adventure Travel and Sports Show, women’s shows, etc, all in the effort to keep myself out of depression. Day trips hiking to Whistler and of course booking my vacation.
In lots of ways since this separation, I’m figuring out what makes me happy as my own person. Not trying to constantly try to make someone else happy, do what I want to do for me, no one else. I was never allowed to be selfish. Growing up in the religion I did, really stopped that kind of thinking. Getting married really way too early, I was a wife and had to do what my husband wanted. I was not allowed to be independent. So now I can focus on these things.
Since booking my trip to Bali and Thailand, it really has helped me look forward to something when I really didn’t have anything to look forward to. I’m all alone in many ways, and that’s scary to me. Not knowing what my future looks like, if I’ll ever meet anyone again, creates a bit of anxiety. This trip, concentrating on becoming a better, healthier person has really helped me in my darkest times. My life really has changed. I’m hoping for the good.
I know I would have never been able to travel like I will be when I was married. In many ways my adventure started the day I left my home with him, when he left me all alone, a broken person. I’m glad I had the courage to leave.
In the next few months I look at all the positive things happening, my trip to Bali and Thailand, going to be moving to Whistler and hopefully still stay on the path of losing weight and living a healthy lifestyle. I’ll constantly keep myself busy cause that all I know how to do now. It’s helped me heal and find my true self.
To all the women out there struggling, keep your head held high, you can do this. You can get through whatever it is you are going through, just keep moving 🙂